Cloud Dough

This is a great rainy day project that will keep the kids occupied while you get some much needed housework done. The texture is fascinating, very much like its name and the ingredients simple. But I'm gonna warn you first off because you'd hate to get through half my ramblings and find out this does not work for you! It makes a mess. There is no real way around it. However it is so much fun to play with that it is worth ever second spent vacuuming, which it does do much easier than salt dough and is much easier to scrape up off the kids and the rug. And the essential oils make your hands and house smell good and feel soft. so go for it. what's 15 minutes of cleaning in exchange for at least a whole hour of kid diversion!


You will need:
8 cups flour
1 cup baby oil (if worried about fragrances or sensitivity to essential oil just use pure mineral oil. but not the extra heavy)

How hard is that to dig up?? Put the flour in a large flat container and make a mound with a well in the center. Pour the oil into the mound and mix until the flour begins to stick together. Use measuring spoons and small cups to make little sand castiles. The flour will hold its shape.

Add caption

see the little mound in the shape of a coffee scoop

driving his trucks through it..of course.

Butterfinger Bark

OH YEAH. This stuff is good. This stuff is cheap. This stuff is easy to make...well after a few failures that is. It really tastes just like butterfingers but doesn't have those crunchy layers. But all you late night snackers will not miss those one bit. If your grocery stores don't sell candy corn out of season get them online in bulk. They are so cheap. 

So I originally tried to make these in bar form but I'm not a patient person and they looked like turds. So I went with the bark version made in my rimmed baking sheet.  All it is really is peanut butter, candy corn and chocolate. Who could screw that up right? yeah. I did. The first mistake was try to melt the candy corn in a double boiler. The original recipe calls for melting in the microwave but I hate using it so I did things my own way. They sat there in their original shape for a long time until I buckled. Now I had lots of extra dishes to wash. Awesome. The next mistake was using my own homemade peanut butter. The taste was amazing but that peanut flavored shortening is necessary for texture. So I used Simply Jif and tried to shrug it off. Now homemade may have worked if I added extra peanut oil or maybe coconut oil but I'm not that ambitious. If you do use homemade or all natural let me know how it works out for you.

You will need:


1 bag of candy corn
2 cups of peanut butter
1 bag of milk chocolate baking chips or candy coating (the baking chips will melt faster in your hands)





First you melt the chocolate in a microwave safe bowl or over a pan of simmering water. If using the microwave just use 30 second intervals so you don't burn it. Spread half of the melted chocolate over a parchment covered rimmed baking sheet. You can use a parchment covered 13"x9" pan and your bark will be more like bars. Put this some place to cool for about 20 minutes. This will help to keep the bar layers separate.

Then in another microwave safe bowl heat the candy corn for 60 seconds. Stir and continue to melt in 30 second intervals until smooth. Don't try to use a double boiler for this. It will make you insane. Quickly add the peanut butter and stir to combine.

this was after 15 minutes of melting and cursing

there they are out of the microwave with the peanut butter added

Spread the warm peanut butter mixture over the cooled chocolate layer. You will probably need an offset spatula or your fingers to push the weird consistency around to all the edges. You can also press down with a spatula to try to make the layer even. Spread the rest of the melted chocolate over the top of the peanut butter. You may need to reheat it a bit to spread it easily. Let the whole thing cool in the fridge for 30 minutes.

Break the bark up into pieces or if using a 13"x9" pan cut into bars. Munch away!

Cheap and Tasty Slow cooker Cilantro Pork

The problem with blogging slow cooker meals, besides my shitty camera, is they are not very photogenic. A ceramic bowl full homogeneous colors. Eh, nothing to get excited about. But here I am with a recipe for you that is worth the lousy pictures. Use a cheap shoulder roast, also known as pork butt, and you will have big flavor. The slow cooking will tenderize the otherwise tough cut. Add a few pungent ingredients and a pot full of fragrant rice and you have a satisfying meal that is easy on the budget. Now I found cilantro still clinging to life in my garden and the tomatoes were ones I had canned earlier in the season so for me this was super cheap. But you should be able to pull this off on the cheap too! Browning the pork chunks first will help to keep the pieces intact and make the finished product more 'stew-like'.

You will need:

smallish pork shoulder roast or pork butt (size is not essential here) cut into cubes
1 cup flour
1 bunch of cilantro roughly chopped, include the stems
1 red onion chopped
1 28 oz can diced tomatoes with their juice
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
salt & pepper

Put the pork cubes into a large zip-lock bag. Add the flour and some salt and pepper and shake it up until all the pork is coated.

Lovely browned pork chunks

Heat a heavy skillet over medium-high heat and add 2 Tbsp veg oil. when it starts to smoke add the pork in batches so you don't over crowd the pan. resist the urge to stir it around. This will help to brown the flour and to allow it to adhere to the meat. after a few minutes the meat should move freely without sticking to the bottom. now you can stir it and brown it evenly on the other side. remove the meat from the pan and add it to the slow cooker.

this is what it looks like before you cook it.

Once all the meat is brown add the onion, tomato, half of the cilantro and spices, including salt and pepper to taste,  in that order. Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours or if you are like me and don't get this together until almost lunch time cook on medium or high until dinner time. about an hour before you are ready to eat stir the stew. serve with remaining fresh cilantro and long grain rice or crusty bread.

this the finished product. hmmmm I can smell the deliciousness

Beer Bread

Easiest bread to make and really really good. No kneading, no rising, no crazy steps or obscure ingredients. My sister gave me the recipe and told me her man begged her to make them in bulk on a daily basis. I tried it and he was right. it's worthy of making on a daily basis. All you do is mix the dry ingredients together, pour in a beer, dump into a pan, cover with melted butter and bake. The crust is crispy, the texture is dense and sturdy and the flavor is subtle and hoppi. A perfect addition to soups and stews. It will take longer for your oven to pre-heat!

So you will need:

3 cups all purpose flour or bread flour
3 Tbsp brown sugar (don't have it? see note)
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp sea salt
1 bottle beer of your choice. (i used IPA but i think a darker less bitter beer would have a better flavor)
4 Tbsp melted butter

pre-heat your oven to 375 degrees F

Mix the dry ingredients together in a large bowl

get a bottle of beer. take a sip (optional) and pour over dry ingredients

when mixture stops foaming stir

Stir until the dough just comes together. lumps are okay.

Transfer dough to a loaf pan. Pour the melted butter over the top of the dough. Bake in the center of the oven for 40 minutes. Remove to a rack to cool.

Slice and Enjoy!

*Note: to make your own brown sugar add a cup of regular sugar to a bowl or the bowl of your stand mixer, add 1 Tbsp molasses for light brown or 2 Tbsp for dark brown sugar. mix with a fork or with your mixer on low until it comes together..2-3 minutes. I haven't purchased brown sugar in a  year. don't have molasses? well you're screwed.

Make Grain Mustard

Yes you can. So I ordered a pound of mustard seeds early in the summer in anticipation of making mustard pickles and relishes with the summer's bounty. Now, it's fall and I have a LOT of mustard seeds left over. Hmmmmm I'll make mustard. It can't be that complicated. I consulted my favorite foodie and her Homemade Pantry cookbook which I'm obsessed with. I used her recipe for mustard, which I tweaked a tiny bit... sorry, Alana. It's unavoidable. It was easy and I ended up with three jelly jars worth of spicy goodness for my sandwiches, pretzels and stinky cheeses. Looook looook. You can do it, too. I buy bulk spices through my local food coop via Frontier Herbs but I'm sure you can find them online or at Costco even. The recipe will make about 1 1/2 cups of mustard so I doubled it. Hey I had a ton of mustard seeds to work with here. This is the original version.
*Note* you will need to let the seeds soak overnight and then the final product has to "cure" or mellow for a week in the fridge.

To make mustard you will need:

1/2 cup dry mustard seeds, yellow or brown or a mixture of the two
1/3 cup white wine vinegar
1 small shallot minced
2 cloves minced garlic
2 tsp sea salt
3 Tbsp light honey
pinch of ground ginger

In a glass or ceramic bowl add the mustard seeds. Cover with water three inches over the top of the seeds. Cover and let this stand for at least 12 hours or up to 72 hours. I chose 24 hours because that's just when I got around to it. Drain the seeds and put them into a blender or food processor. Add all the rest of the ingredients and grind until you have the consistency you like. I found 3-4 minutes made a nice texture with plenty of whole seeds left. You could let it go longer if you want more of a Dijon style mustard. Pour it into glass jars and let it cure in the fridge for a week. 

Ginger Ale

This ain't that watery sweet stuff in the green plastic bottle that only tastes vaguely of ginger. This is the real deal, lots of bubbles, a nice ginger kick and a nice sweet balance. Fantastic when you have the inevitable stomach bug the little petri dishes (AKA kids) brought home. Also very refreshing with dark rum and lime wedges for when you are feeling a bit more frisky. And it will make any punch recipe a million times better. Trust me. You need to try this. You will need to let it sit at room temp for 24 hours so don't try to pull this off the morning of your Dark and Stormy party.

You will need:
2 liter bottle or glass jar
2" chunk of fresh ginger finely grated
1 cup sugar (I use evaporated cane juice which creates a nice depth of flavor)
Juice of one lemon
1/4 tsp yeast
Cold filtered water

Using a funnel add the yeast to the bottle or jar. Add the rest of the ingredients. Fill the bottle with cold water. Give the yeast at the bottom a gentle stir. Cap it tightly and let it sit at room temp for 24 hours. You should see bubbles at the top of the liquid. That's good. Chill and enjoy. Open slowly though because this will be really fizzy.

Crazy Crayons!

I have 3 crazy boys which means I have a plethora of broken crayons laying around. Since I'm neurotic about waste I thought it would be a shame to toss them. I found ideas for reusing the broken little pieces and today we tried out Crazy Crayons. It was easy and the boys got to break things! They loved that, especially the 2 year old. A word of caution: the cheap crayons don't melt well and leave big chunks in the finished product. Also I'm sure small molds would work better but I had mini muffin tins, the old school heavy duty kind, which worked well but the crayons were hard to remove. So stop tossing tiny crayon pieces and make pretty little new ones that would be great as stocking stuffers or additions to party gift bags.

Directions:
Peel the paper off of all the tiny crayon pieces you can round up.
Break them into small pieces of similar size (a great stress reliever on some days!)
Add them to your mold or muffin tin in a single layer.
Pre-heat your oven to 150-170 degrees F (mine doesn't go lower than 170).
Pop em in and let them melt for 20-30 minutes.
Take them out and let them cool.

These are in the process of melting. you can see the cheap ones don't melt

If you are having trouble getting them out of the pan run very hot water on the back of the pan and they should pop out... Don't put them in the freezer. They crack and the kids cry and you end up melting them all over again while kids whine about how much of failure mom you are.... Don't ask how I know this. Ooooooh so pretty

Now get coloring!

Oyster Mushrooms

I was driving to my friend's house today when I spied these beauties on the side of the road. Picture perfect fall oyster mushrooms growing out of a huge rotting sugar maple stump that had been taken down and dis-guarded. So with my trusty buck knife in hand, the kids and I jump out of the car and fill our basket with about 3 pounds of wonderfully fragrant fungus. I usually try to leave about 1/3 of the mushrooms intact so they can drop their spores and produce for future seasons, it's the moral thing for a forager to do.

Later that day we dumped our bounty into the sink to inspect for bugs and rinse off the dirt. This time of year when the temp hovers around 40 there aren't too many bugs to worry about unlike the summer oysters that are loaded with worms if you don't catch them right away. I got out my deep sautee pan and plopped a few heaping tablespoons of homemade sweet cream butter and melted it on low heat. Then, I sliced up about a pound of mushrooms and added them to the pan. Then I took out a few shallots I had cured from summers bounty and a few sprigs of rosemary that was still clinging to life in my yard. I added the sliced shallots, rosemary sprigs and coarse salt to the mushrooms and let it sweat out its liquid. I took this opportunity to start a pot of salted water boiling and grabbed a nice looking bag of Pappardelle that was begging for a delicate sauce.

When the mushrooms started to stick to the pan I knew it was time to add the alcohol. It brings out the flavors of food and captures aromas so nicely that it enhances any dish. I only had good french vermouth on hand but a good dry white or dry sherry would work in this instance. Once the booze is gone, I put an entire pint of local heavy cream. (Hey, I never said this was diet food, its special occasion food.) Why not indulge? Its not everyday you find perfect oyster mushrooms. while the cream cooks down a bit, I drain the pasta and VIOLA. There will not be leftovers trust me. And since the kids helped find and collect these mushrooms they are actually excited to eat dinner!

To recreate this at home you will need:

1-2 lbs of oyster mushrooms, the smaller the better depending on how mushroomy you want your sauce to be

1 lb wide pasta noodle

3 Tbsp unsalted butter

3 large shallots sliced thin

3 springs of rosemary - no need to chop, you just want to infuse the dish without overpowering it

1/2 cup white wine or 1/4 dry sherry or vermouth

1 pint of heavy cream, preferably not ultra pasteurized 

On low heat melt butter. Add sliced mushrooms and shallots and sweat until all mushroom liquid has evaporated, about 5-10 minutes. Once the mushrooms start to brown in the pan, turn the heat up to medium and add the alcohol. Evaporate completely. Then add the cream. Reduce heat and let the mixture return to a boil. Cook and drain pasta according to package directions and set aside in a shallow bowl. Once the cream has thickened slightly, about 5 more minutes, pour over pasta. Add plenty of coarse salt and fresh ground pepper. Garnish with extra sprigs of rosemary or chopped parsley. Try not to lick the bowl. :)